REMEMBRANCES OF CHRIS
On Christopher’s “Month’s Mind” I have collected remembrances of him from siblings, family and friends. Here they follow my tribute to him.
“REMEMBER HIM FOR THE GOOD QUALITIES HE HAD……..”
Charles Dickens via Betsy Trottwood to David Copperfield.
MICHAEL CASTELINO (Brother)
A nice remembrance of Chris. The pictures are a poignant memory of what our brother was. Hope his kids have some such memories.
MARTIN CASTELINO (Brother)
PHIL FERNANDES (Sister)
His incredibly kind and caring side shone with the sick and elderly. I especially remember one time in Chennai when Nanny was returning home from hospital. Chris decorated her room and set up music there, to welcome her back — his much loved Grandmother!
I went to Kuwait in 1979, where I lived and worked for 8 years — all thanks to Chris. He always complained to Mummy, that I never called on his help to drive me anywhere (I didn’t have a driver’s license). He couldn’t understand that I preferred to leave such requests for when the need was important or urgent, he just wanted to be a caring brother….alas I realized that too late!
Farewell brother….stay well and at peace with Mummy, Daddy and Nanny!
LEONIE CASTELINO (Sister-in-law)
Chennai, 1994. His watercolor paintings in the background
I met Chris in Summer of 1976, the year I got married. Mark & I drove up to Ottawa to be introduced. We connected immediately…. perhaps the artists in both of us. He had built his furniture which inspired me on our return to NY, to buy a drill, saw and knife to construct an indoor planter, trash the ubiquitous green shag carpet of that time, and rent a floor sander.
On his two-week visit with Anne & David to our home in Bayside, NY, he fell in love with Rohan, two years old. His affection extended to Kirin and followed both of them with an avid interest on Facebook. He knew more about their activities than Mark and I did. He was so determined and excited to attend Rohan’s wedding and meet Katie, but Covid interfered.
We became close friends in Summer of 2006. He was based in Chennai and planned a Canada/US visit. His intention was to spend a week in Mahwah with Rohan before he departed for Shanghai, and two weeks in Manhattan to immerse himself in New York’s art & culture.
Mark was a visiting Prof in Cape Town, and I was working at home on a deadline for an upcoming exhibition. I would be in my basement studio dyeing & painting on silk from early morning and work with other artist friends in the afternoon at Corny Baker’s studio, matting & framing our work. After his first visit with me to carry my stuff there, NY’s art and culture was forgotten. Every morning, he would watch Mark’s videos on Milton Friedman’s ‘Free to Choose’ and old nostalgic movies MaryJane had introduced them to in their youth, make us delicious salads for lunch, and was utterly delighted to spend the afternoon at Corny’s.
The two other women artists, 10 to 15 years older than him, Sandy Frech & Corny, flirted outrageously with this handsome, charming, cosmopolitan man.
Every evening he took me out for dinner, and sometimes Corny Baker joined us — who took immense delight in making him blush! For the rest of his life, he looked back on this brief period, as one aglow with joy, fun and laughter.
He took this picture of Corny Baker and me at Sandy Frech’s home with her painting in the background in 2006.
ROHAN CASTELINO (Nephew)
Uncle Chris was a major influence on my upbringing. From childhood, he encouraged my artistic and creative instincts while challenging me to question conventional wisdom at every opportunity. Whether we were debating the merits of American Exceptionalism to why baseball was a fundamentally better sport than cricket, Uncle Chris always pushed me to consider how I think more than what to think. For that I will be forever grateful. I will cherish our long email exchanges and will miss my annual birthday calls that he managed to make without fail regardless of my time zone (China, Los Angeles, New York, France)! Rest in peace.
KIRIN CASTELINO (Nephew)
Whenever Uncle Chris and I had the chance to spend time together, he always went out of his way to make it a special, memorable experience. One of which was from a trip to India in 1994 during which my Mother and I spent time with him and visited his “Utundi” beach house in Madras. During an excursion into town, he saw me eyeing a series of ‘Dhokra’ metal folk art animals and immediately bought them for me. I have them to this day and they will continue to be a reminder of his kindness, generosity, and our mutual love for art. Rest in Peace.
HARESH (Lalu) LALVANI (Friend)
Dear Mark,
I am so saddened, also a bit shaken, by the news of our dear loving Chris.
He was a gem and I loved him — for his intelligence, humor, and his kind gentle manner in the way he treated others. Though he had very clear and sharp opinions, it was more in the spirit of sharing and airing. Not an ounce of animosity or residual negativity in him. When I spoke with him before the pandemic, he alarmed me about his health and I went especially to Chennai for a day trip to see him during my visit to India then. We had a lovely time, and he gave me two of his favorite books from the 70’s, a reminder of our days together.
When we were in Kuwait, we spent a lot of time together — movies, etc. — and one shared moment was when we had both decided to leave Kuwait and met with our boss together to announce it jointly. Didn’t realise we were such schemers. We separated for a bit and met up at Pratt where we had both applied. We were roommates for a semester or two till he decided to switch to McGill. I did go and visit him in Montreal and, just recently, I cited him (my first opportunity to do so since that time) for showing me something I hadn’t seen and how that moment spawned my new work based on what he had done. I had meant to send this acknowledgement to him, not knowing it would soon be too late. I’ll have to live with that, but at least I had mentioned this to him on the phone at that time.
Your spirited tribute to him is beautiful, and very loving. You are a gifted writer and I was very impressed by your write-ups in the links. Initially, I thought I was on Chris’ website since your pic looks very much like him. Didn’t see that coming, you two were quite different when we met — was that 50 years ago! Hard to believe.
Stay well, and I am glad I heard the news from you and not someone else.
I will miss him dearly and will think of him from time to time. His cheerful nature, with his brilliant touch of mischief and laughter, will continue to be inspiring.
Love
Haresh
MALIKA SWAMINATHAN (Friend)
thank you for that very concise tribute to Chris.
I am very glad I spent time with him on the 27th of August when he came out of the icu to a room in Promed hospital.
Chris was very blessed to have had. a friend in Abraham.. sent by God for sure. I met him for the first time on the 27th.
All I can say is that Chris was also very fortunate to have gone into a coma soon after he went back to the home on the 29th.
I am sending your tribute on to a few of his good friends.
CHRYSTABELLE SUARES (Cousin)
Dear Mark,
What a beautiful tribute to your dear brother Christopher.
Hard to believe he is no more on earth with us. Though I can still hear is rasping voice when I think of him.
I truly believe he is with us, very close in fact, in Spirit, is watching and guiding us and wanting us to be happy for him as he is in a far better place.
JENNIFER MIRZA (Cousin)
Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful memories of brother Chris, who we all held so dearly.
And you were so right about his popularity with girls/women.
I remember inviting him to my 18th birthday bash, and the next day, I was bombarded with the caustic quips from my classmates in Sophia College
— - You didn’t ever tell us you had such handsome and charming cousins. Why did you hide them from us for so long?!!!
They were referring of course to Chris and Peter Patrao!
We are so fortunate to be part of such a large, diverse and affectionate extended family. And I’ve noticed that even the people who marry into our clan, get friendly with our kin with such ease. A fine example is of you and Saeed. Poles apart in terms of professions and political affiliation, but such solidarity when it comes to football matches!
My mother used to say
— - make friends with good people. Where they work, how they dress, what they eat, and where they pray, if they pray at all, has nothing to do with friendship. Embrace good people.
I regret that though we both lived in Bandra, that we didn’t meet often enough with Babs. In fact, when I finally did go to her house, I met Tina, who said Babs had just been admitted into the hospital ICU. The next day, we heard that Babs had passed away. You live with these regrets.
But each of her two sons figured in a documentary that Saeed made. One on differently abled children and the other in a film made by the Nuns of St. Paul on drug addiction among urban youth.
Luckily, Thanks to WhatsApp, I am now in regular touch with niece Gwen Soeiro. In fact she told me that Philo was coming to Bombay’s from Chennai and that we should meet up. Unfortunately we were leaving for Kerala before Philo arrived, and so would not be in town. Such a pity.
Mark, we are coming to New York to spend 3 weeks with Safdar and Beverly and our darling grandchildren, Evelyn and Remy. We must meet up then, even if there are no football matches to watch together!!!
Will end for now with lots of love from both Saeed and me
Jennifer
DAVID PATRAO (Cousin)
“Goodbye Chris Goodbye!”
Thank you Mark for the very moving and memorable email on Christopher
When I was young I used to sing the Great Pretender recorded first by the Platters . Today I should sing I am the Great Procrastinator, despite my father telling me when I was very young that Procrastination is the killer of time
Be that a it may, better late than never.
If Michael is the most respected, Marty the most loved, Mark the most brilliant (IIT and Rutgers) Christopher was the ultimate of what I could just decribe as a Lady’s man
I say this from my own experience. Whenever Jennifer ( Born in 1944) would have a party, her friends would insist that Christopher be invited or as one of them mentioned that if not she was not interested in attending
Within my own family I would refer to him affectionately and admiringly as CASSANOVA CHRISTOPHER CASTELINO, a title he richly deserved.
I tried very hard to remember the last time I had met him and felt that it was at Ranjit’s wedding, but Beryl corrected me by telling me that Michael and Christopher visited us in Pune several years ago. He slept in Naomi’s bedroom whilst Naomi and Beryl slept together in ours. Michael and I slept together on a bedding placed on the floor in our dining room. I think the next day Naomi took Michael and Christopher to visit Edwin Lobo
I can only end this letter with a refrain which I sing for everyone’s funeral, the last being my batchmate and Michael’s colleague.
GOODBYE CHRIS GOODBYE
WE’LL ALL MEET AGAIN, BUT KNOW NOT WHEN
GOODYE CHRIS GOODBYE
Best wishes to all of you
from Beryl, Naomi and myself
JESSICA GOVIAS VINCENT (Cousin)
Thank you Mark, you captured Chris perfectly. I still can’t believe he’s gone.
RAJIV FERNANDEZ (Nephew)
Thanks for sending along. That was a really lovely tribute to U. Chris.
BINOY FERNANDEZ (Nephew)
Agree, thank you for sharing. Enjoyed reading some memories I hadn’t been aware of.
MAYA FERNANDEZ (Niece)
Yes, thank you for sharing. It was a lovely tribute Uncle Mark
AARON FERNANDES (Nephew)
I am very sorry to hear about the death of your late brother. It is comforting to hear that all your siblings are in contact with one another and providing support.
I wanted to write to you to say thank you. It was a pleasure to read your tribute on Uncle Christopher. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the short tales and events of his life (of which I’m sure are in abundance). Sadly, the distance between my Castelino family means much of my understanding of all of you comes from my beautiful mother and our short but memorable times together.
GITA MASTER (Friend)
So saddened to hear of Christopher’s passing. My sincere condolences to you and the entire Castelino family.
I had the pleasure of meeting Chris in late 1970s or early 1980s. I still remember him as handsome, fun loving, smart man. You tribute to him touches on all that and much more. I feel that every time I read one of your tributes, I learn some more about the endearing Castelino family.
I hope that Michael, Marty and families are safe from the effects of the hurricane.
HAREN MASTER (Friend)
Thank you for sharing the beautiful tribute to Christopher. I remember meeting Christopher the first time in Ottawa (driving up in your beat up bug). Always a slightly mischievous smile on his face and a friendly personality.
Please accept my sincere condolences on your loss.
GAURANG MASTER (Friend)
My heartfelt condolences on the passing of your brother Christopher. You wrote a very nice tribute giving us a good sense of who he was.
TINA CASTELINO (Cousin)
I also read you tribute to Chris as well. Yes, I remember the young good looking cousin. He too would spend a lot of time with my dad discussing architecture stuff. As kids we looked forward to all of you coming over; it always was fun.
SANJAY CASTELINO (Nephew)
I always wondered about uncle Chris as a young kid, somehow he lived in the Middle East, wasn’t a doctor, lawyer, or engineer — it was like he somehow managed to side step that expectation of Indian parents and you wondered how that worked.
Our last meeting was in 2010 and we shared a meal together, he shared some of his stories with me, both about himself, his parents and nanny, and his children. He spoke so fondly of all his family.
He was a creative and he used his talents to make the world a better place. He will be missed, RIP.
RANJIT CASTELINO (Nephew)
Uncle Christopher was always know as the “Uncle from Kuwait” who was an architect! I remember listening to Grandpa Johnny as he recalled tales of Uncle Chris and the buildings he designed.
He did visit us with Anne and David on Bulk Prospector once, but I more vividly remember him dropping off my cousins to Rebello House one summer, and it was much anticipated (Flo Grandma did an excellent job building up our interest!). “Cousin Anne” as I referred to her as was dropped off one summer and we enjoyed playing together for many months and the years to come in Madras.
Both Karen and I had a chance to spend some time with him prior to our wedding in India. More recently I met him in Madras at his place, and invited him to my hotel for a meal — he had a strong opinion on how madras coffee should be prepared and the hotel waiter clearly did not cut it…and he was told so by Uncle Chris.
All of us will miss him and hope that he is suffering less and in a good place now.
MONISHA HATFIELD (Niece)
When I think of my uncle Christopher, three things come to mind.
First, Uncle Christopher was a great thinker/ If you agreed with his opinion or not, he always had a very clear way of expressing his opinions. I have enjoyed many discussions with him over the years.
He was never afraid of following the minority position of thinking differently. Maybe that was the artist in him. — As we are all contemplating future schools, he asked, “why does everyone need to go to college, or get an MBA?” There are other ways to live life or to provide value to society. I find these words to be so true.
Uncle Christopher had a great smile. He always looked like he was in on the joke. We will talk to him.
LAKSHMI KRISHNAMURTHY (Friend)
A creative artist, an art appreciator, a friend forever, kind, gentle and a very good and considerate person.
Loving wishes always loaded with prayers and regards for the departed soul