Amazing Grace
A Tribute to Nanny on the Occasion of her 90th Birthday
Late last year astronomers were confounded at the discovery of a bright new star in the western skies. What amazed them even more about the star was its gentle but pereceptible drift toward the east as if beckoning one and all to follow it. Many of us did. Today that star shines directly above us as we are here from all corners of the globe — from Madras to Mangalore, from Pali to Poona, from Kuwait to Council Bluffs, from Muscat to Miami to Mahwah to celebrate the continuing saga of Grace Castelino, better known to the world as simply “Nanny.”
When I was asked two weeks ago to say a few words about our Nanny on the occasion of her 90th birthday, I was truly touched and honored. As I started to think of what to say I discovered that it was impossible to say in only a few words about a person whose life encompassed the antics of that precocious pixie from Never Never Land to some of the most wonderous miracles ever wrought by human hands.
Nanny’s life exemplifies the cliche that truth is stranger than fiction, for it is hard to imagine aperson of such humble beginnings could have achieved all that she has in these 90 years — years filled with both joys and sorrows, triumph and tragedy, laughter and tears — years in which every imaginable emotion has been witnessed upon her.
As matriarch of the Castelino line Nanny has accomplished in this life what most could scarcely contemplate achieving in several. Here are a few salient facts of this remarkable life:
- She has mingled with people from 6 generations. Just to give this some perspective, it means she has walked this earth with those who lived during the time of Abraham Lincoln, Queen Victoria, Theodore Rosevelt, Mahatma Gandhi, Jawaharlal Nehru and Mother Teresa.
- Of those six generations, she is the only one in her family to celebrate her 90th birtday
- In those 90 years her accomplishments include, among others
— 7 children
— 17 grandchildren
— 17 great grandchildren
distributed in every continent and corner of the world
— Included in that parade of decendants are Chief Emgineers, Captains, Olympians, Doctors, Professors, Architects, Teachers, Principals, Businessmen, Managers, etc., etc., etc.
To begin to understand this phenomenon called Nanny we must first take a peek behind the scene from which she came.
Nanny comes from a family that could only be described as pure drama. If that family was a play it would have appropriately be titled — ”The Fabulous and Fantastic Patraos — a play in 10 acts.” Here is a brief synopsis of each of thos 10 acts.
— Rose (Aunty Rosie). On this Rock much more than just the Coelho House was built. Always a good sport and much admired by her sons for her virtue she used to be teased by them, commonly known as the “prick brothers” (Eric, Cedric, Patric, Eldric and Fredric) that when she arrived in heaven and discovered that everyone she knew was there, especially the sinners, she would demand to be sent back to earth to enjoy the good times she missed because of her virtue.
— Stanislaus (Uncle Stanny, Dr Patrao) Deliverer of life to most of us. Had quite a naughty sense of humor. He once described himself to my mother as having the uncanny ability to recognize women from waist-below.
— Anthony (Fr Anthony) Builder of Schools and Hospitals. My father described this simple man and his monumental achievements as proof that there is truly a God who acts in mysterious ways
— Babu (Uncle Babu) A bit slow in mind but he entertained his nephews by claiming he played cricket for the MCC (Mangalore Cricket Club)
— Grace (Our Nanny) Much more on her later
— Mary (Aunty Mary) Family poet, dentist and literary scholar of singular proportions. Her “History of India in Verse”, was received by Prime Minister Jawharlal Nehru and declared a national treasure. Like the Taj Mahal, it cannot be sold, copied or reproduced.
— Elizabeth (Lizzy, Aunty Lizzy, Sister Claudia) Bethroted to the Lord, defender of the faith and educator to the great and small
— Ignatius: Family punter and the world’s greatest proponent of the virtues of deep breathing. Rumor has it that on his first flight he asked the air hostess if she could open the window as it was too stuffy inside the aircraft.
— Franky: Lover of life, real estate tycoon, and the Tango King of Orange County. At 77 he tells me he hasn’t even begun to think of retirement
— Mercy: The editors of the Oxford English Dictionary have concluded after giving it much thought to define the “perfect homemaker” as simply “Mercy”. She has been observed over the years to follow her maid who is dusting her furniture to remove any fingerprints they left behind.
And, now to Grace (Our Nanny) — a class act. She once described my wife as “Nice and Solid” believing she was paying Leonie a compliment.
Now a fiction writer would have enormous difficulty fashioning this character. How does one describe a life which is a compendium of the most famous characters in literary history— from Tinker Bell to the Happy Wanderer to the Miracle Worker.
— Why Tinker Bell? Because she is almost never at rest. One can always see her tinkering around in her garden, chasing after cows who dare enter her garden to flying over fences. But more to the point. Like Tinker Bell, that most famous firefly in history, she brings light wherever she goes.
— Why the Happy Wanderer? She is most at home on the road (with or without her Bob Hope and Bing Crosby.) In her younger days she has been known to change houses as often as people change their clothes. After several changes, her husband finally put his foot down. Her next move would be all by herself. She decided on staying put.
— Why the Miracle Worker: If Richardson Merrill only knew what miracles Nanny wrought by their famous product “Vicks Vaporub” it would surely be the world’s top pharmaceutical company today. At various times Vicks in combination with Nanny’s miraculous hands were known to relieve the common cold, asthma, tuberculosis, indigestion, aches and sprains, arthritis, chest pain, gout, mental disease, to name only a few.
Nanny grew up and married during an era, unlike today, when one didn’ t think it was prudent or not to have children, you simply had them. I was told that on the day before her wedding her mother advised her to permit Abba (our grandfather) to do whatever he wished — a truly excellent piece of advice, my wife’s views notwithstanding. After all, many of us are products of Abba’s best efforts, nine of them altogether — only seven of whom were permitted by the Lord to carry on the tradition.
Here are the Magnificent Seven
— Florence (Flo): Mummy to me and my five siblings, and one about whom enough cannot be said. In many ways, both a child as well as a mother to Nanny. Like the sun she was and will forever remain the light in our lives.
— Claudy: Most like Nanny and a dream uncle any kid could have. He believed if you cannot take your nephews to Brabourne Cricket Stadium then you bring the stadium to them. Every week, on Lord’s day Nanny’s living room became Lord’s stadium. All the furniture in the room was rearranged so we could play cricket. The bat was composed of a newspaper compacted into a bat and a ping pong ball substituted for a cricket ball. By early evening Nanny’s living room was reduced to ashes over the battle for the “Ashes.”
— Osy: Like Atlas, he bore on his shoulders the burden (both financial as well as emotional) of the Castelino world. It might have been a very different one if not for the support he provided the family during its difficult days. He was a fervent admirer of Ronald Reagan, but as an actor.
— Blaisie: Joined the air force as a young man. Had to quit before his time. To provide for his family he joined the merchant marine as a purser. On his first trip, he went down with his ship. A truly sad ending for another wonderful uncle.
— Ruthie: Caretaker of Nanny and my two boys for which I am eternally grateful. She has been known to require exactly 8 hours of sleep every night. On November 22, 1963, when I woke her up to tell her of Kennedy’s assasination after 7 hours and 55 minutes of her sleep, she berated me fornot waiting 5 minutes more before giving her the news
— Maryjane: Like Uncle Claudy, she was a nephew’s delight. Gave us pocket money, took us to hockey games, brought us comic books and movie magazines. My love for movies surely followed from that experience. Ever since she quit playing hockey, Indian hockey was never the same. Gone were the days graced by this Wild Cat.
— Margaret: A woman of Olympian proportions and a pioneering spirit. If not for her, Besant Nagar would scarcely be what it is today. Much more important, she made it a place, my mother, father and grandmother could truly call home. There is only one Margaret and the Besant Nagar Post Office agrees. It has long been deliverin her mail. addressed simply as Margaret, Besant Nagar
Now to our Nanny.
If one were to describe the way Nanny lived her life, one need look no further than how she played her favorite card game, Rummy
— No matter how bad a hand she was dealt, and life has dealt her some pretty rough ones, she steadfastly refused to pack. Playing the game was far more important than winning.
— Her generosity of spirit is truly boundless. You can always depend on her to give you a helping hand — especially if you are seated to her right. Few players will more willingly give you their “hearts….., or diamonds, clubs or spades” when you need them most.
— She has been known to slow down at various times so that others could catch up with her. Her ultimate act of charity which so many of us have been beneficiaries of, is to allow us to win a hand that she won several rounds before, unintentionally though.
— If I were to pick one card in the deck that best describes her, it would have to be the joker, not only because she is fun loving and humorous, but like the Joker she always is what you want her to be — “the Ace of Diamonds,” or the “Queen of Hearts.”
I would like to end my tribute to Nanny with a little story about the great songwriter and lyricist, Irving Berlin. Many years ago on the occasion of his and his wife’s 50th anniversary, he wrote this song for her. It was titled,
“Always”
I’ll be loving you always
With a love that’s true, Always
Not for just an hour
Not for just a day
Not for just a year
But Always
This is a time when I would give anything to be able to do what Irving Berlin did for his wife, but alas I cannot as I am no Irving Berlin.
However, I have chosen a song to end this beautiful occasion with. It is titled, “Amazing Grace.” With minor modificatons to suit the occasion, here it is:
Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound of your name means to me
I once was lost, but now I’m found
Was Blind but now I see
Twas Grace that taught my heart to love
And, Grace my fears relieved
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed
Through many dangers, toils and sorrows
I have already come
T’is Grace hath brought me safe this far
And, Grace will lead me home, and lead me home to thee.